you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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