ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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