Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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