im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
