I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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