I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
