You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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