either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
