On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My vagina is very pro this idea
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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