escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
