Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
