U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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