I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is my gift to your gina
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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