Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
