I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
