I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
