Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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