i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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