If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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