we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
