I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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