So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
