3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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