maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
