You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize