i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
