would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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