This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize