thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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