If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it glows. i had to have it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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