Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
