i wish my penis had a tongue
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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