I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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