Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Can Purell be used as lube?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
