Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
