she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
