I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want nice things and good sex
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
