mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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