wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize