So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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