i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
