I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
