Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ugly people sure do ruin things
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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