Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
