And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
