NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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