kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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