it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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