I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
