Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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