I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can I color on your dick again?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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