all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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