no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
