I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
