Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
wow bdsm is so cute
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
