im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize