I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
