I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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