I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
