He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
