I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
