Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize