ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
