Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
