did you get engaged???
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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