dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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