I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
