and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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