i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize