There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
