just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
