I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
