yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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