So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
